Emo Philips - master of paraprosdokian

Paraprosdokian - (from Greek: “para” meaning “beyond” and “prosdokian” meaning “expectation”) a figure of speech, often utilized in humor, in which a sentence or phrase ends in an unexpected in a way, causing one to reinterpret the first part.  I’m quite fond of using these, myself.

Here are some well-known examples:

• “Take my wife, please.” — Henny Youngman
• “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx
• “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.” — Henry J. Tillman
• “I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don’t know I’m using blanks.” — Emo Philips
• “I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time.’  So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. — Steven Wright
• “I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.” — Mitch Hedberg
• “I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.” — Will Rogers
• “If I am reading this graph correctly, I would be very surprised.” — Stephen Colbert
• “If I could say a few words, I would be a better public speaker.” — Homer Simpson
• “It’s too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.” — Jack Handey

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Computers to translate world’s ‘lost’ languages after program deciphers ancient text

Scientists have used a computer program to decipher a written language that is more than three thousand years old.  The program automatically translated the ancient written language of Ugaritic within just a few hours.  Scientists hope the breakthrough could help them decipher the few ancient languages that they have been unable to translate so far.

Ugaritic was last used around 1200 B.C. in western Syria and consists of dots on clay tablets. It was first discovered in 1920 but was not deciphered until 1932.  Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology told the program that the language was related to another known language, in this case Hebrew.

Read more here and here.

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Sara Duane of the True to Words blog wrote a cool post on a possible linguistic missing link that may serve to rewrite our understanding of early Native North American Indians.

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Certain fans of the original cartoon “Avatar: The Last Airbender” may be disappointed when they see the movie adaptation.  Since you’re reading a language-related site, you probably already know where this is going.

If you’ve watched the cartoon, you know that Chinese characters were used throughout to give the show both a sense of identity and connection to our own world in the form of Asian languages and cultures.  As you can see, even the title is rendered in Chinese as  降世神通, which means “Avatar” (lit: “divine medium who has descended upon the mortal world”).

For some reason, though, the makers of the movie version have opted to take out all of the Chinese (save for a brief reference to “qi” and “yin and yang”) and have instead decided to use nonsensical Asianesque characters.

Why this decision was made is unfathomable.  In doing so, they basically destroyed all of the linguistic and cultural links that were established in the cartoon series.  This is not something they can just undo in the sequel that is sure to come.

Dr. S. L. Lee, calligrapher for the cartoon series, is certainly not pleased.

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Well… on American English, anyway.

Speciality?  Aluminium?  Can I get a Amen (or at least a cheeseburger)?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1284254/Britain-declares-war-words-snuck-skedule-.html

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I found this article on language independence to be rather interesting.  Have a read, if that sort of thing is your cup of tea.

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Grausamkeitsspäße [ˈɡʀaʊ̯zaːmkaɪ̯tˈʃpɛːsə] - “cruel jokes”

German always has such great words for describing deriving pleasure from someone else’s pain. 

(Thanks to Chuck Gordon for turning me on to this word!)

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It’s official… I’m a grad student.  My classes (see below) start in August.

• LIN 500 Linguistics and TESOL
• LIN 510 Linguistics
• LIN 520 Second Language Acquisition Theory

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Forvo.com may just be one of the coolest linguist-geek websites on the planet.  Their motto is “All the words in the world.  Pronounced.”

Yes, you read that right.  While they still fall quite short of that goal (so far), they’re doing a pretty damn good job.  There are tons of languages listed on the site that I’ve never even heard of.  According to the website’s internal statistics, there are 544,917 words and 457,743 pronunciations in 236 languages (at this moment).

Even though every word in every language isn’t listed (yet), this is still a very cool idea, and a potentially very useful tool for any budding linguist involved in the study of a foreign language.  Even if you’re not a linguist, but are merely interested in hearing how a foreign word is pronounced by native speakers, give this site a look-see.

This being St. Patty’s Day, why not use the website to learn how to impress your friends with a hearty Sláinte?

Warning: Don’t make any plans.

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